Continuing the expeditions of Jeff MacNelly, James Kilpatrick, and Eugene McCarthy, with apologies.

The Chickenhawk

This pitiful, featherless bird disguises its timid nature in seasons of conflict, when it emerges from its coop and dons false plumage with martial aplomb. Wrapping itself in armor, or flag pins, or a flag, the Chickenhawk belies its lack of courage with thespian craft, acting out scenes of bravado to audiences hungry for that sort of overacting. Most often, the runs of this farce are short, and the creature must recede to its dwelling and await another casting. However, in the unfortunate (for audiences) present era of endless war, the Chickenhawk seems to be permanently plying its unpalatable craft on multiple media platforms, there, by itself, lessening the intelligence of entertainment consumers who might hold their noses long enough to survive a soliloquy.

–Danny Grosso