Continuing the expeditions of Jeff MacNelly, James Kilpatrick, and Eugene McCarthy, with apologies.

The Spinner

This spindle-shaped creature has adapted its mind and body to achieve maximum efficiency in sycophancy. Its tapered footing allows for the speedy spinning needed for policy changes. Its large head and 360 degree vision allow it to spot from afar new trends for which to forsake its former beliefs. Another adaptation: hidden in its underside is a gauge to anticipate the prevailing wind, and a gland attached to it to measure the selfish value of the gale. The Spinner’s design lets it orbit a bigger star like a planet, or rather orbit a planet like a dead rock, endlessly circling in admiration and attachment until the bigger body implodes from rot,  leaving the Spinner discharged and on the hunt for another object of attraction. Sometimes known by other names, such as Lindsey, look for the Spinner in legislative districts where the poll numbers of a candidate for the highest office are better than those running on the undercard. The creature is also found haunting the executive branch, working short days and employing its knack for ridiculously shallow unsolicited praise to keep its cushy position.

– Danny Grosso