Continuing the expeditions of Jeff MacNelly, James Kilpatrick, and Eugene McCarthy, with apologies.

The Parliamentarian

Part school marm scold, party wise old owl, the Parliamentarian has been gumming up the works in legislative bodies and smaller public meetings since such bodies and meetings began convening. Indeed, as soon as sets of rules were drawn up, their organic texts spawned the species of Parliamentarians to further and protect their legacies. Bounding out from the rule books, the Parliamentarians have an innate knowledge of parliamentary norms. Their sure sense of superiority makes them oblivious to criticism, which allows them to gladly suffer the barbs of hearing participants wishing to speed off to post-session cocktail parties. Soldiering on through eye rolls and grimaces, objections and outright threats, the Parliamentarian keeps its fidelity to the relevant rules of order and procedure.  Though despised by short cutters and unscrupulous committee chairs, the creature is a delight to late night caterers, who are often contracted to feed hearing staff working overtime due to protracted procedural protestations.

-Danny Grosso